i think i am having a midlife crisis

So I am in my mid twenties, and by current standards of mortality, the life expectancy of the average human being has been reduced to a sad 50 years, therefore, I am in my mid life and I think I am having a midlife crisis! According to most movies (very reliable source of information), when midlife crisis hits, most people feel lost, others want to desperately find out the true meaning of life while others try an hold on to a previous, usually much younger period of their life. All this leads to acting out in a manner that gets other people worried, or wondering whether to put you in a padded room. Well, I have all the symptoms, I think.

My life has been pretty simple over the past year, routine if you can call it. As a single girl, I was stuck in the cycle of wake up, eat, go to work, shop, watch movie, sleep, and repeat. A colossal difference from the hot blooded, adventurous, crazy and outgoing girl I was in my early twenties. The girl who could walk out of one party and straight into the next and still be the life of the party… seems like ages ago. But recently things have been shaken up and my rather sad cycle of life is changing. 

Like a fat cat, I had contentedly settled in to the boring routine that my life had turned into. However, all of a sudden, I started feeling inadequate. I used to think staying in bed all day in my pajamas on my day off, stuck in a trance watching one series after another was the life… what more could a gal want! But now I think it’s just sad, people are out there having fun, partying, making new friends while am locked up in my house. My social life had simply simmered down to a few drinks or a meal out with friends once every few months. My blog had been gathering virtual dust over the past two years and the only time my facebook account is even remotely active is while receiving birthday wishes. It never used to bug me but now it does…. I want more… the crisis.

It’s actually amazing that I actually managed to meet someone in those seldom nights out. I think he also contributes to the crisis. I mean now I have to be fun and interesting lest I bore the relationship to a quick death, I have to shave my legs and dress nice every day. Let’s not even get started on the dressing, it’s like I hate every single outfit in my closet. I keep on thinking I need a wardrobe make over! Crisis. And speaking of makeovers, I even took down four years worth of dreadlocks. Everyone keeps asking why and I give them a bunch of reasons like they weren’t looking as good as a I wanted but honestly I think there is a much bigger reason to it. 

So my mid life crisis make me think I need to grind harder, my paycheck doesn’t offer as much excitement as it used to. Clearly I have moved to a higher echelon of understanding of what money is actually worth. It also makes me think I need to change the way I look, I wish weight loss was one of priorities but food will always be my love, but at least taking down the locks has softened up my look a bit… I think. My mid life crisis makes me think I need to find more fulfillment on life, that I should not just settle for existing and surviving but live life fully.

Lucky for me, my crisis came at the turn of a new year and I can’t help but having that “clean slate” feeling. I don’t have resolutions but I feel refreshed, energized and hungry for more (plus I haven’t eaten yet). So 2015 has brought me passion, ambition, determination and I think I can even say a new zeal of life. And the best part about having a mid life crisis, I know I will not be able to relax until all my desires are achieved. I mean it’s a crisis for goodness sake.